Blo-Gorilla to Blog-Zilla to Break n point.....

Too much to Continue on this path!

Yes, its looking like the subtitle will once again change! Doesn't look like I can keep up this Journey of a family's quest for real-ness in real-times! I have so much negativity spewing all over me and my family daily that I should spend my time fighting it and covering us and not spotlighting it for it to grow.

I remain baffled of how people love with hate. I will never know or understand that-I pray that the Lord will keep me from doing this and will only grow us into intensely loving people after this time in our lives.. I pray our children will see that every day, every tear that is cried was capture in the hands of our Father and how much we are truly cared for.

I have a new found understanding in why our Country is falling apart and why there is so much dysfunction- there is some relief knowing it is not just our generations fault but how it was passed to us and spoke out over us as if it was. Owning up to faults can change the world. Calling people names, ranting obscenities and spreading lies and rumors- tear down- they have never one time in this life "built-up" Anything. there will never be any room for prejudice on any level, reversed included. You cannot use slang or cut down people to build your self up and feel "American". Certainly separates the "True" believers- quickly doesn't it? Its not irreversible, it can be changed in one prayer.

I take a break from my nightmare and decide not to publish my life diary during this time. I see no point in daily negativity- I don't believe it helps anyone- whether to read it or to write it. Perhaps when we get back on track and things lighten up- I will be able to come back with great news. It should be highly interesting and should be miraculous- so I await in great anticipation myself!

Factors, factors..
Oh, come on. You guys know me, I am not a spoiled brat. I have worked so hard in my life time and have battled many fights, I have won and I have lost. No matter what has happend I have remained knowing who I am in Christ. This time was a little different, the tactic of the enemy was blindsiding.. I guess you can say I was totally caught off guard.
I have lived on my own formore than over half of my life now. I have been responsible for a lot of things. People have entrusted me with great things through the years. To fall to a place of dishonor and darkness did not fit into my life goals or plans. but when does it?

I have to admit- I did not and do not handle this well. I remind myself that soon this will be over and I will over-come by the Grace of God, we will arise and prevail- only by HIM.
In the mean-time, I pray that he will keep us from being attacked from every direction, I pray our children do not feel and know hate, I pray we can survive and leave blessing..

I pray people around the world know that to surround yourself in people is far greater than to surround yourself in stuff-

What or Who will you be taking to Heaven with you?

Today Eston has surgery

Sweetie Pie Eston! The oldest of 4 and one of the sweetest, gentlest kids you will ever meet had his Tonsils and Adenoids removed this am. First Surgery of the bunch, ironically so, never in a million years would I have ever thought I would be miles away while as he lay in a recovery room. Amazing isn't it? I am thankful for my ex calling me and and giving me updates and letting me talk to Eston as he tried to wake up and come out of anesthesia. I am thankful Eston got to have this surgery- his tonsils had grown so large he nearly did not have an opening in his throat. I have a daughter that is the same way, I am hoping soon our lives will change and that she too can have her tonsils out.

Eston has nearly reached 5'11, that was so exciting for me to hear! He has great potential and will do well with the blessing of height and a sweet personality. He thinks he's tough and he is- but as his mom I see the same sweet little boy just growing up. I am very proud of him.

Funny how things are. I now see how beneficial it was for him to be some place consistent. I see what a blessing it is for someone to not job hop and bring stability to their family and establish a homestead,land and consistency. Not everyone loves in the same way, but certainly a form of love is the "stable" kind.

I was raised with much stability and probably explains why I worked at the same place for a long time-Probably explains why I started working at 11 and why I was and remained so incredibly goal oriented and to a fault. My life only became unbalanced due to an individual once again ironically that I am married to.. Can't say that happened in the first marriage. Living in the same town for 18yrs. stability earns trust and good reputation and repor with people- it does the same for children. I am thankful my Ex. has always been this kinda of person- stable- concerned for reputation. (Well, what else do you expect me to say?)It is very unsettling to try to sober myself to reality of not having checked into these things before and realizing- we are all habitual, what we did in our first marriage- we usually bring to the table in the second one, what we did 20 years ago- well- probably is still going on today. Very few people get out and allow the Lord to totally transform them. Especially secretive ones.

Today, I have relief. The kind I have not had in a good long while. I have 1 child being taken care of and I know he is doing well.

The other 3 I feel very sorry for. which is the majority of my sleepless night and incredible stress. How could I have allowed for such drastic change in me, had I stayed the way I was, I would be divorced from husband #2 before Kori was born( he knows this for it almost happened). I know I would not have allowed for a #3 husband- I know me too well. Then, that leads to not having Josh and Matthew..Aw........


I know we will be fine, It just hurts because I spent my lifetime establishing good habits and consistency and a good reputation for a future for me & my child/children. For a future period. I am mad because I married someone opposite.. My prayer is that this chain is broken and that these boys all three of them rise about this and make something of themselves not taking people down with them- but as the sparrows do on Eagles wings. Soar above their potential. Because its a desire-not because they are nagged to. .


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What a Headline, or maybe its just me....

Fry him up in a pan w/ some cornbread

Naaaaa........


One of the many Headlines on News today:

Why do some politicians cheat?

Really? Politicians? For shame on those high end men holding such a prestigious office doing something like that to those high end precious important wives. Now that sounds incredibly tacky right? Exactly. Than why not make the headline " Why do MEN Cheat on their spouses?

Hey, I have to admit, I'm with Jenny on her statement to the press yesterday, what a woman! If I could be half of that! As you can see by my blogging- I'm not.=(
I have to say watching Gov. Sanford get up and explain the situation was such a refreshing sight for me, I hate that it happens to anyone, but to see a Man of much responsibility say the things he did and Not Lie, was actually nice. I like that he had already told his wife and that they were working thru this. I like unfornt. that his wife already had heads up and was not surprised by the media. I liked that he didn't deny where he was- once the flags were raised. I am glad he didn't throw his staff to the dogs and took full responsibility for any deception of his where abouts. I am glad that he didn't do like his partner in crime one state over that said, No I have never cheated, well, ok, just once, actually it was just one time, ok, must I pay a million dollars for the baby? It was only a year and half of my life and plus she was over the cancer- I thought.

I hope Gov. Sanford keeps his office. I don't feel his sin is any more or any different than anyone elses. Perhaps he should be used as an example of what you should do when you are guilty of failing- tell the freaking TRUTH! I do not feel he put his state or country in danger- well, unless SC was bombed or something and he was stuck in Argentina-ok, no time for jokes- your right.

As for his wife, Jenny. What an icon for women, what a mentor for moms. What a mentor for wives all over. Is she lucky because her husband told her? Yes, because I don't feel like there are alot of men strong enough to say they have failed. And failure is what we all do- so why hide it when you do.

I don't know. NO, I know we don't know all the details, I cringe when the freakin media reads aloud all the emails between him and his lover, this is proof, no one cares about our future and our children. Why can't that be private or for a committee to hear? No one cares about this family, all they care about is humiliating him(certainly not thinking about his wife and the kids) and causing destruction- perhaps he wishes now he had been a Democrat- surely things would be much different for him and his family. At least his 4 boys would not be raked across the coals listening to the details of the gentle, passionate love affair that their daddy has for another woman. I would really like to know how this mom will handle this with her children.

I guess this means I refuse judgement.

I sure would like some luscious "Shrimp and Grits" from SC!

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BLOGORILLA!

Thats what I feel like: a blog-or-illa!

Looks like I will be able to load possibly one blog visit in per-day. I just went by to Tami's Diary of a Mad Woman to say hi! Paula Constable- Organization for moms- I will be by next! I miss you all so much and have always found such great insight on so many of your blogs! NTM, the daily lifts!

OMG, I am so thankful to at least have internet- really I am, but how humbling it is to be on dial-up!

I was so happy to hear from a forever friend today that she is dating a past NBA star who is now an NBA coach- amidst other things he does. It was exactly what I needed to hear to lift my spirits! OOOooh someone with some good happenin'! I want so much goodness for her- that to hear the excitement she had was a total lift! Of course I had a few pointers for her- you know, the kind you have if you could go back and change things! No one wants to see anyone suffer- especially if it can be stopped ahead of time.

I have had more regrets in the last numerous years than ever in my life-time- shame,shame, I continually walk thru forgiveness and pray that I do not become a regretful bitter person, if I could just wave my hand and have it all disappear, I would do it in less than a moment. And I promise I would never revisit it again! I believe in free-will and that God does not make us make bad choices- we choose to ignore HIM and do our own thing. I try very hard to be thankful. Believe me, I had a awesomely terrifically blast of nearly 32 years! Oh the things I got to do and be a part of and see! I loved me so much and Loved the Lord even more- a very good place in life. I had no regrets to speak of or even recall up to that time.
I remember the very moment & whom I was surrounded by sitting in a church pew that I would fall off the good-times wagon and be led into deception. By free-will, I heard my instructions and chose to ignore them. I know now what to look for- but it was life altering and it cannot be changed. I pray my daughter can be saved from this crisis- I pray my falling will be heard by her and that she will learn of what to look for and the Lord God will protect her and keep her from this curse. I see so many women sell themselves short and never accomplish the goodness God has for them.

Our eyes are the window to our soul, our countenance is written upon our face. Don't be tempted by false ones- who are they really? Ask GOD to show you- don't assume. Certainly don't be mad when HE tells you! Don't trash your temple, you behave exactly they way you see yourself, if you see yourself as a godly woman, so you shall be treated and behave, you see yourself as a pin-up ho, so shall they flock in and partake of- leaving their scraps for the next one, you see yourself as holier than thou- the snake in the grass will devour you, will take you and set you up on high- dressed as a knight in shining armour only to take you down. .

Enough Blogorilla jungle talk! I know I will be rescued soon!

May you never know hurt.
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Rants & Reviews!

Life Lesson..Surely this hummingbird can go to any one of the blooming plants I have to get its nectar.


My most major of Rant has to be................... I can't visit any blogs! I am going nuts.... I tried to load a blog and after timing I gave up at 22 min. still had 14 items to load! I walked off took care of things and came back and still not all the way up! I do not live near any public libraries- who knew I would miss that. There was always the faithful highspeed internet there if ever needed.
Its been a month since I have been able to visit- since then I have had nearly 40 new friends that I have yet to go by and follow or visit- due to I can't bring their blogs up! Isn't this hard to believe? Is this a legitimate complaint? YEP!

The Total Loss so far...

Serious Review here............ Okay, in less than 40 days I lost 30lbs and 19 1/2 inches. Can I tell? NO. But then again I have nearly tons to loose. I would have stayed on course had I not had the incredible stress that I went thru this last month. Several factors kept me from loosing the entire 40lbs. #1. literally unbearable stress. #2 Sweating and working out ( Moving a nearly 3000sqft. house) on a 500 cal. diet is a no no! Body goes into starvation mode if you exert. #3. I starved nearly the entire time- only after day 20 did I get to sleep and stop getting sick from not eating ( I literally know- NO ONE else that has ever had that happen- so it was probably just me). Next round I will be utilizing a hunger suppressant- If I can locate a good one- tested.
I totally recommend the Pounds and Inches protocol by Dr. Simeons. I bought my products through an awesome and very helpful place www.whenhealthmatters.com if you have any questions they can answer them as well as the www.HCGdiet.com or HCG diet group on Yahoo.
I cannot recommend this Cure for weightloss to anyone who is not serious about changing their life forever. It is not a quick-fix. If you do not have will-power and determination to go in 40 day increments- I don't think its for you. If you feel you can eat more than what the strict diet says you can eat- this is not for you. It will only work if you follow the rules to the T. Amazingly it works for me due to the fact I am pretty earthy as is. Some would wilt and die if they had to go with out their makeup and lotions and fatty based shampoos. The joy of this diet gives you fantastic hair and skin and revitalizes the nutrients and detoxifies you from the harmful additives and metals we have all ingested and applied to our skin..
I have some really good friends who are on the 2 & 3rd round having lost alot of weight. I will be off of it for several weeks and will be gradually working up to 1500 cal. and then do another 40day round. My fear is gaining any weight back- my friends have not, so I am hoping I will be that way too!

Insightful Rant. Actually a Learning Lesson.

Never put your things in storage( some extenuating circumstances could or may apply).
Sure, Scene/Room Setting your Home to sell- Sure... Things that you want to keep(heirlooms) but have no space. Sure. Selling items- sure, there is a time for that probably. Storing things because you have no place to go? Absolutely NOT!
I believe we are given things to GIVE, not to store. This assuredly is investing wisely- right? For some reason, I am reminded of the parable Jesus told of the Nobleman who gave 10 slaves each a mina. This is found in Luke 19 around the 12th verse and on.

I learned a bad lesson, one I can say, I never thought I would have had to learn. I put our house in storage's.. WHY? Oh, come on the list of why's are endless- hey, you could make an extensive list yourself-right? NOT really. Some of you reading this know exactly what I am talking about. My entire life, I have lived believing I was and am blessed by the Lord, knowing all things come from Him and I never go without because of Him. I sow HE sows MORE, I give, HE abundantly pours out over me. Get it? I have given so many of my households away, I have no ability to count. The moment it left my home- I was blessed with something more- something I couldn't even imagine. I have loved everything I have ever had- I have never given away something because I didn't like it- so that is not where I am with this. But... I married an opposite. So, this time I wanted and felt that urge to have an open house and come one and come all, except for a few things of course. And you know what? I didn't do it. It was the absolute wrong thing to do. Why put great things in storage for them to be ruined- when someone else this very minute could be utilizing and enjoying them? Really, do I sit and wonder if someone needed a like new sectional? Yes it's almost worse than the hunger pangs. Do I wonder how I could have sown into a families life of setting them up when they had nothing to start with? Badly. Do I wonder if any ones home has burned down and they are in need of children's items and furniture- absolutely.

You know, holding on to things is a curse, because you will never experience the abundant overflow of blessings if you don't have room for them.

So now our belongings sit it bug infested, rat and mice, heat and dampness buildings, because I wanted to hold on to it because for the first time in my life I didn't truly believe God would re-supply me. Not a good lesson to learn. You must be careful of who you surround yourself with- the influences can be detrimental to who HE has created you to be and to be HIM to (towards)..

So if you find yourself in a predicament to where you feel you must place your items abruptly in storage- think about it first. HE may send someone your way that you can bless- they might have been there the entire time. He may be telling you to sell the items for the exact dollar amount of what you need.
I don't know, I just know storing is not what he wants us to do with Blessings.
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Happy Father's Day 09'

Happy Father's Day to all those who have stepped up to the plate!

I heard a totally profound statement from watching a short blip of Hagee yesterday.

The Most important responsibility that God has called men to do is Protect and take care of their family. Noah was a great example of this. In all his years, not once did he bring someone to know Christ/ GOD or preach to the people. He was a man who followed Gods instructions. He built a boat that saved his FAMILY. He went down in History for Saving WHAT? His Family. He also followed INSTRUCTIONS.

Happy Father's Day to all those Men Who step up to the plate, follow instructions and Save their Families, Who walk it out and in the end bring em HOME.


There are no words to describe what our days have been like, our nights even worse.
We are so thankful even though. We are even thankful & lift up those who are hell bent on ruining our life. And as I suspect, we will be hearing of your falling soon- may you find the love of Christ once you too find out they will spread despicable rumors and cast you to the dogs- good luck on you explaining away the things they will say when potential employers call. Of course its illegal--------- SO...

Get up, brush yourself off and move forward- it was planned from the get go.. Learn from it.

A tad bit of an update: Yay tho I have lost 30lbs. It has proved truly to not even be a drop in the ol' bucket. Why of course I already knew that- I had gained 46 lbs. since last June. A total of nearly 160lbs to loose altogether. But no, do you think I let those numbers stand in my way? I ran to my room and grabbed my wedding rings assured that they would now fit ( it has been nearly 3 years- since I could put them on) Did they? NO. What was I thinking...... Oh well the next round is surely to put me on the downside of 60 plus pounds lost- I hope by then- yep, by then the rings will surely fit!

Speaking of chubby fingers..... I made for Father's day a from scratch Red Velvet cake. I located my grandmother recipe and it turned out really awesome- even with out a oven! Ok yes, I baked it in a toaster broiler oven to my surprise.

I have a hang-over today from the sugar from the cake- me and sugar don't get along like we used to.

Then... we went to the lake, the kids asked me if we could go where the water was clean.... Swimming Pools and wonderful oceans, crystal clear lakes- is all they have experienced until now(well, as they recall-anyway), once it hit over 100 a couple of days in a row- they have found a new love for dirty water.

NTM-Joshy at a most inconvenient time decided to have a huge growth spurt. He no longer can wear the clothes he has been wearing and has shot up in height as well!






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Survival of the Fittest..... Naaaaa.

BEFOREAFTER BEFORE AFTER


Gotta Love those before and After pictures- huh! Well You know I had just about lost some good plants last month, out of the blue, no bugs that I could detect, moved them to various locations to see if it was sun etc. Never could figure it out- except we all had a bad day! Here are some pictures of 2 of the 4 slightly revived. Not sure if I can say we are at that point or not- but at least something is taking hold! I sit outside in the mornings and laugh(not really) I have put hummingbird feeder out and they love it, and I have put a "wild Bird seed feeder out. Well I would like to say there is a huge difference in city birds verse country birds! The country birds won't touch the "wild bird" food! Isn't that funny! I have put it in various locations- in trees, in yard in woods etc.. Nope, they fly by and "glance". Figures. We planted the gigantus Pumpkin seeds and cut the boys hair over them so the bunnies and deer would leave them alone- so far-so good!


Dewayne and I were taking nightly strolls until we came up on a rattlesnake and was going to kill it and turned around to walk back and then had to walk around a cotton mouth to get home- we decided, no more nightly strolls. Amazingly, it was the first time we went without the kids and dog. Imagine that. Since we have all the kids toys outside, we had a friend send us a picture of why you should check everytoy and be careful of sheds etc. They sent a picture of a snake coiled up in a kids battery operated 4wheeler. There are some things I choose to forget about living in the Country that I am in overdrive trying to play catch up on & teach my kids!


I am afraid if this would have been on one of my kids toys- I would have passed out at the thought of them being bit!

Recently people found this snake in their childs outside toy-








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Is there Not something we can do about this?

Sick and Tired of it, spittin' nails mad!

?Enzyte/ExtenZe! Any other freakin male enhancement products! Yes after SpongeBob cartoon, what do you think the commercial was? ?ExtenZe? I was furious! What can we do about this? This was day-time Nick channel
(I think)Actually- it was Cartoon Network. It nauseates me every single time these commercials come on, I feel its totally un-appropriate and should be a private matter- not a broadcast TV thing. Yes, we don't watch TV very much- and I have had my children ask " What does an erection lasting more than 4 hours mean? Will you die? Is that why you have to see the doctor? Sickening! I used to think it was sickening to always have the very unattractive male actors with excruciating abnormally huge noses- you know, the one you can't see the girls face because of his nose while they hug by the fire on the beach, or the 60 something male with a very smiling 20 something girl- please, flaunt your mid-life crisis off screen- please.. Can you tell I am fed up? Are you? I used to think the stupid elevator one with one girl after another was because I watched CSI and felt- well, it always comes on while I am watching that- so I shouldn't watch it maybe... but now I see its, not the case.

I think I am upset because it happens so quickly on TV and we don't get a chance to protect our children, or maybe its protecting our children would be not allowing TV? Hum... Something I said for years- but anyway. I am just amazed at how everything promotes sexual behavior. Really doesn't matter what it is, from TV, Music, books, magazines- you name it- once again I suppose History will repeat itself and our places to be ravaged by a sodom & gomorrah plague. Or wait, maybe thats just Government?

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The downside of dial-up.....

ooooh you betcha I am thankful for even the 30mins it takes to get online maybe once a week! But I tell ya, there are no words to describe the rest of it. I want to come by and visit you guys, my friends- but as I have tried to load every ones blogs- it stops after about 20mins. and I never get there to open it completely to leave a message. I promise I will be by someday! I have been promised light at the end of this tunnel- so for now, that's all I have to go by- more promises.

Just the Downside....
However, I am making a list of things not to say to people when they are down and things not to do, I am sure had I started back up to school in the fall like I had hoped for & starting planning, continued onto a psychology degree- or even get re certified in counseling- I would probably already be listing these things out as well for my benefit.. To recall. I could pull out my 1000 word paper on why not to say "I'm sorry". I still to this day use that term way too loosely.
Never say "I understand how you feel", because you and I both know you don't- however you may have some great insight having something similar happened to you. Never say the flipid term loosely used " I am praying for you" not unless you have earned that position in relationship or have a proven record in doing so. Friends, of course.. thats a no brainer. Others, ask permission first- you may be surprised at the response of "no thank you"- not all prayers go in the direction that you would hope for.. Not all intentions are God intentions. So many people use this as a comfort term and never plan to follow through- kinda like "we're thinking of you". No harm meant, just no comfort either. No kidding if you have been there the whole time- this totally doesn't apply- right? I am talking about that 3rd cousin twice removed, who only comes by when something wrong is going on or a will is to be read. You know the one who is never there for the good stuff, only the bad. You know if there is bad news- shazam, they will appear or be calling. Or for the people who don't even know you but all of a sudden feel real close to comment on your low points. We all know, we have all been there. but aren't you shocked afterwards when you find out how bad something came across that you said to someone and you never knew it at the time? Not all people are the same, the beauty of it all.
Well I have learned these things and more- I love new things!HA! I have learned the art of someone looking deeply into your eyes and lying and denying it even after they are caught. I have learned there isn't much to trust outside of the Lord, but you still have to chance it anyway- many times in scriptures where He purposes people to deliver incorrect advice or news, even comfort.. Let Him take care of it.. I have learned that time stands still in some places and healing is not an option (get it? time heals). I have learned that there are somethings not possible to do. Yes, that's a tricky one if your going to slap using the all things possible scripture=) Someone in depth might get it.
I am still learning.

I am determined that out of this all I will still have the innate sense to come out of the rain to help someone else in need- I pray...

On a Humorous Note.........

Infamous Hanging on the One Word. I guess I had too much practice of the hanging on one word in the funeral Business after all those years, people in grief hang on one word- it clangs like a horrid cymbal in their head- over and over- its the one thing they remember- after recalling things- I have heard the story many times- believe me. I have been hit, yelled at and had things thrown at me in the time of sorrow. I could write a book....I will never forget with my over bubbly personality going into a house and offering my hand, introducing myself to the deceased man sitting in the chair- "HI! I'm Kelleye, I'm with such and such place and I would like to get some information from you please." The nurse said this is mister so and so- as if to introduce, the info I had said Mrs. so and so we were picking up.... Thinking he was the elderly next of kin I had been told about. Yes, Hospice/Nurses and Friends For Life were rolling on the floor, my partner and I had to go outside, and catch our breath. I was given the wrong info before arriving at the house and well, frankly the guy seemed awake and alive to me! Heck I thought the nurse was talking to him when I got there. No, I never lived that down, but I realized quickly, survey the surroundings and make a good call before opening thy mouth!

I just thought I would leave you with some humor- I needed that! Until next time!

Punctuation=Personality.......
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Caught in the Act!

Josh: OMG! How cool is that! We get to play on the rap music maker! This is the coolest thing ever!

Kori: Is that what those really big CD's go in?

Me: Awe, look, this was my favorite music growing up " The Pirate Movie Soundtrack".

Kids weren't as excited to hear Kristy McNicol singing as I still was!




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Lessons Among Us...........

Transparency
Its the one thing I have had since my beginning of time. For whatever reason, I was born without the fear mechanism. Which, by some degree makes it fairly easy to be crystal clear on any issues or happenings in my life. I have never had a fear of what someone could do to me, what some one could do to my family or furthermore that anyone really cared to put forth the effort in my direction. Thus, the transparency factor. Easy to say things, easy to do, when you just don't worry about what someone else thinks or will do. I have great clarity in exploitation and protection of others, I just have more of a real concept of real-time and what real-people do. For instance, I know that you can fear the internet and yet be abducted at walmart while in broad daylight. I know that you can fear strangers and have a distant relative kill your kids, all these things and more can be seen on news tv, they are real. So is fear. Being smart and making good sound judgement calls in your life and your family's is also a good measure, sometimes its your closest friends and family or even a coworker that baits you and takes you down for the kill. Guess what- its all takes you back to one thing- correct?

Lesson: In all seriousness this fact is true " If you Trust completely and wholly in the Lord, you will not have fear in man." Really I am not in the mode of a bible lessons at this point in my disrupted life, I am more in the mode of realness and expression, something that comes easily and calming to me. I thank God I am in the Word daily and habitually. . Absolutely anything you or I experience, can be found in the Word and the comfort is immediate. I am certainly not trying to take away from that.

Many have emailed me with true depths of concern of how are we, or whats going on? Thank you- it means so much that you even care.

Many have visited by curiosity and hoping to satisfy their thirst for retribution. That is so sad as well as so scary in heart to think of that- It reminds me of Spider man 3- don't even toy with it. It will consume you.

Others are my wonderful blogger friends just dropping by to say hi- Gosh, I just love blogs! I love all my blogger friends!

It has been yet an amazing year, it was only this time last year that our lives would change drastically once again. Reluctantly and erie we moved back to Texas. On the basis of many lies .

I can tell you, we have a new found discernment for the tugging of heart strings and deceptions, good intentions or any other ulterior motives.

All irrelevant to our present circumstances of loss of a job.

Lesson-Patience

This year was the most brutal of them all for me, I will soon be 40 and I can say that with a clear and free knowledge that the things I had happen to me rank with the highest, for the fact that this is about me, I can't reveal details which has been very perplexing. I feel like, well it happened to me, why can't I be open? Many families are destroyed because of the very same things that has happened to me. Well, for the sake of saying, were not out of the woods yet, is why I have to keep my secrets to myself, something I have never done in my lifetime- have I had a secret? No. Though I have and am entrusted in keeping others and I have been an extremely trustworthy person my entire life- I gain no joy in the fall of others. I gain no happiness in gossip or spreading rumors. Its always been sickening to me.

Lesson in giving foothold to the enemy

Many things were ruined for us this year, I doubt if I will ever look at spring break or other things the same again or even participate in them. I can tell you as I heard in a Sunday ago at church, undealt with sin = leverage for the enemy. Anything you have hiding in your secret place gives him an upper hand. Who are you kidding- God already knows, what can people really do to you if they find out? They can reap an unhealthy heaping of judgement on their own heads if they do not deal with it properly. So why not let the light penetrate the darkness and break the chains from the strongholds of the enemy.

So as we pick up pieces as though they are worthy of salvaging them, we start completely over.

Lessons learned: Trust God Completely with ALL things, Trust your gut feeling- He gives it to you for a reason, we decrease so HE can increase. Never say never. When someone else is going through something don't think in your hidden corner of your mind " Thank God so & so would never do anything like that" You have just cast judgement down on your own life- Buckle up afterwards!

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Surface Posting

Another Surface Post.....
I have had an innate ability to be transparent. These days I am finding to be a little difficult since anything I would say would directly involve someone else. That makes my transparency nearly null and void. It is very difficult to blog and not share my stories in real-time, maybe next post=)

Here are pics of the kids totally amazed at picking vegetables in a garden- Thank you Gale! They were even more amazed at eating them for dinner! I nearly called it a "field trip" but then I remembered Schools Out! Picking blackberries really was amazing, they couldn't believe they just grew everywhere! However I must say the coyotes running thru weren't as amazing to them as they bolted indoors crying- we have truly raised real life city kids! Shall I read them "the City Mouse and the Country mouse" tonight?

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